On another note. Nate has been suffering from some hip/femur pain for the last few weeks. Howard made sure they Xrayed him in Montreal, and we were suppose to hear back from Nathan's orthopedic surgeon with the results. We have not. I didn't really expect to unless it was serious. However for the last two days he could hardly walk and we have been medicating him around the clock. This morning we made the decision to have another set of Xrays done and see if something is wrong with his rod in that femur. I hope to hear back from the doctor today. I also put a call in to the ortho and physio in Montreal. We are seeing him unable to do things he was once able to do, and he is spending an awful lot of time in his wheelchair. It tears my heart up to see him suffering in pain, and not being able to keep up to even his 2 yr old sister when she runs. I just want to fix him, and make it all better. I think the hardest part is not knowing what is causing this setback. I find that the not knowing what is wrong creates alot of anxiety. If it were broken we could address that, but constant pain with no diagnosis is frustrating. I strongly believe no Mom should ever have to watch their child suffer, however we live in a broken world and many of us do. I cling to the hope that one day Nathan will get to heaven and he will be able to run fast and be pain free, he won't have a limp and nobody will make fun of him. And I will be their to celebrate and rejoice with him. I also rely on prayer, that God hears me as I cry out to him and ask for healing of just even the pain Nathan is suffering from these last few days. There are days when I feel I can handle all that osteogenesis imperfecta can throw at us, and then there are days when I feel as broken and overwhelmed as the day Nathan was diagnosed. Today is one of those broken and overwhelmed days, however I know that God is with us right now and knows my every fear for Nathan. So that is what I will choose to focus on.
Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 1:11
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Aww, I'm so sorry Kim, ((hugs)).
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine what you are going through, watching your son endure this pain. I am praying the medical team find out soon what is going on with your precious boy.
I just want to say this too, I hope you don't mind... The Lord would never give you something you couldn't handle. And I know you know this already; He'll never put you through more than you can bear, and He'll always be your greatest comforter and draw you close to Himself at times like this.
You know, when we signed up for a special needs adoption, I first had to commit to the Lord and have faith that He wouldn't give us a special need that we couldn't handle. To be quite honest, when we got Lilah's referral, it shook me up a lot. I really felt bad that the Lord didn't think I was up to or strong enough to handle a bigger special need. Now and again I still wonder why didn't the Lord give me more. I really don't know, maybe He felt I wasn't strong enough or that I'd gone through enough sorrow at that time in my life. I have no idea. But I know HIS way is perfect. So perfect. I look at my daughter and I know He chose her especially for us - not 2 years ago, but before time even existed. Anyway, I'm sorry to ramble on.
I am praying you will find out the answers soon and that the Lord will give you strength and wrap His arms around you. And in the meantime can I just say, what an amazing school Nathan attends and what kindness someone has for your boy. To brighten his day like that. How incredibly kind and giving. I wish I had a better heart and spirit to be like that very kind person. Sounds like an angel sent from the Lord himself.
Blessings.
Jill xx
Thanks so much Jill! I appreciate your prayers and kind words. I just keep saying to Nate this is just a season. And it too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteKim
Good girl, keep your chin up. The Lord gave you Nathan because you are a strong woman, obviously strong in His word. And like you said, this too will pass. :)
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine how people go through difficulties in their lives without the Lord.
Blessings and prayers.
Jill
So I was thinking of you yesterday, when I was at the hospital for Micah's surgery... and I knew I had nothing to complain about.... all I know is that you must be so much stronger than me, because it is so emotional to see them like that. You and your son are very brave!
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